Letting Go of the Past

...in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Some people believe that each of our days were planned, Divinely Ordered, before we were born. God knew, they say, and planned exactly what was to transpire.

Others suggest we chose, we participated in planning our life - the events, the people, the circumstances that were to take place, in order to work through our issues and learn the lessons we needed to master.

Whatever our philosophy, our interpretation can be similar: Our past is neither an accident nor a mistake. We have been where we needed to be, with the necessary people. We can embrace our history, with its pain, its imperfections, its mistakes, even its tragedies. It is uniquely ours; it was intended just for us.

Today, we are right where we need to be. Our present circumstances are exactly as they need to be - for now.

Today, I will let go of my guilt and fear about my past and present circumstances. I will trust that where I have been and where I am now are right for me.

-Melody Beatte, The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents©1990

Soon, I will be beginning a new phase in my life. I am soon to be married to my childhood sweetheart... I can only do the best I can, each and every day from this day forward, and that is all anyone can expect me to do. I have learned a few things over the years through the many relationships I have been privileged to experience. Hard lessons, many of them. And if I will apply what I have learned, I can avoid making the mistakes that I made then. What follows is a partial list of those things that I learned:

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved - the rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how strong a relationship starts out, there had better be a lot more to it when the new wears off; that it takes years to build up trust, and only moments to destroy it. I've learned it's not what you have in your life, but who, that counts; that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides to every issue; that it's easier to react than to think; that learning to forgive takes practice, and the best person to practice on is myself; that when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry, but not mean; that no matter the consequences, those who are always honest with themselves are the most successful and satisfied with their lives. I've also learned that we don't have to change the people in our life, because people will change for themselves - not for us - when they are ready to do so.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have; that perhaps our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become; that the people you care most about in your life are taken from you all too soon. And most of all, I've learned that you can't love anyone until you learn to love yourself.

Happy Holloween!


email: Michael@N-Spire.com

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