No matter how long we have been alive, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.
We want revenge.
We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out just a little bitů.
Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger, but it's not our job to deal justice.
We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings - the hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feelings, and be finished with them.
We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.
Walk away. Stop playing the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind you, with the lesson intact.
Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness - not the kind that invites the other person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness - forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.
-Melody Beatte, The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents©1990
It's getting colder in the mornings - bring in the veggies before they freeze and spoil! Now is a good time to plant the fall flowers such as mums, to give the yard some color even if many other plants are dying. Don't forget to fertilize the lawn.
I am working 4-day weeks in Portland, still, but in the office rather than on site. I have a nice view on two sides of my office space, and when the sun is out, it brightens the room quite nicely.
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