In stressful moments, listen to what life is trying to tell you about you instead of searching anxiously for familiar answers to make life feel "right" again. All fearful, doubt-filled moments are secret reflections of what we have yet to understand about life and ourselves, not life's rejection of us or our wish for happiness. Learn what it means to go quiet whenever there is a riot in you. Don't take part in the search for power to repair what you fear is coming (psychologically) undone. This stillness, born of conscious self-sacrifice, invites the Extraordinary to enter, answer, and heal all aches.

In times of anxiety and fear, we almost always call upon someone or something to help us get through our stress. This dependency on others for strength not only weakens our soul, but also steals from it the possibility of the Extraordinary visiting it to deliver two major lessons: first, the crucial lesson that fear is a lie. With this revelation comes the next realization that the same frightened self that seeks rescue secretly confirms its condition as being real with each of its plaintive calls for help. Refusing to rescue ourselves from inner states that scare us invites the Extraordinary that shows us that no such scared self exists that needs saving.

Rut and routine are two sides of the same sad street. Repetitive patterns are the well-worn pavement that the spiritually asleep self needs us to mechanically walk along so that it can keep talking us to death with its empty promises of extraordinary times "just ahead." We can learn to do much better than to settle for being betrayed in this way, but it takes inner work! Instead of caving in to the demands of those slipshod parts of ourselves always looking for the "easy way" out - whatever the case may be - we must choose in favor of the "hard" way. This choice eventually shows us that the only thing really hard on us is our unenlightened nature that wants us to believe that getting around something is the same as rising above it.

There is a correct time and place for thinking through practical plans in the ordinary scheme of life's events. But nothing that is founded in thought can serve to reveal the unthinkable plans that the Extraordinary holds in store for anyone willing to leap into the moment without a parachute. Never mind those old fears of falling. Just jump! Being willing to risk failing is a prerequisite for fearless living. If you will take the leap into what you are afraid of doing, the Extraordinary will prove to you that Its unshakable Ground is everywhere beneath you at all times. Nothing compares with this discovery because, once realized, there's nowhere to go but up!

Unseen by the self that walks upon it, thought is a treadmill powered by the movement of our yesterdays as they produce our tomorrows. This is the real meaning of "doing time." The Extraordinary is Timeless. Its domain is Now. If we wish to share Its Life, we must find ways to enter into Its world. Here is a good way to begin this Work: Every day, as often as can be remembered, we need to deliberately break out of that self-confining cage called "self-consideration." Even if we can only collect ourselves to meditate, pray or ponder a Higher Idea for a few seconds at a time, we must do it anyway. These small windows - opened by our work to remember the Extraordinary - are its passage into our life.

Dare to see and experience yourself as you are without giving names to what presents itself before your watchful inner eyes. Allow the meaning of whatever states you see coming up in you to reveal their actual make-up to you, without interrupting their upwelling by explaining to yourself why you see what you see there in you. Have no intention toward these thoughts and feelings other than to be open to them and, in doing so, to permit them their uninterrupted passage through you. Why open up to life in this way? For one thing, this gives negative states the back door they need to depart. For another, the Extraordinary is very possessive. It will not enter any zone marked "occupied."

The Extraordinary visits individuals, not groups or organizations. It strengthens the soul willing to be alone for its sake. Keep your distance from people who insist that you believe as they do, who hope to convince you that the reality they have satisfied themselves with should satisfy you as well. These deceivers want only to keep you in their unreal camp. Never mind who is walking with you and who isn't. Be wary of any campsite - inner or outer - with its bright "welcome weary traveler" sign. Most of these campers desire your company so that in their endless gabbing to you they can forget they are going nowhere. Walk on! Your persistence is an open invitation to the Extraordinary to join you on your Journey Home.

- Guy Finley

About the Author

Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than 18 books and tape albums on self-realization and higher success. His works, which have sold over a million copies worldwide and have been translated into ten languages, are recommended by doctors, ministers, and industry leaders. For information about Guy Finley's books, booklets, tapes, and helpful on-going study groups call (541) 476-1200 or visit www.guyfinley.com where you can also sign up to receive a free, weekly Key Lesson.

·    Simone de Beauvoir

As above, so below - it is a recurring theme in philosophy throughout the ages. James Allen wrote a book on the subject, titled As a Man Thinketh. If this is true, then what I am focusing on becomes substantive. Who I think I am, who and what I percieve myself to be, takes on an entirely different dimension as a result. What I want in my life can be manifested if I am able to focus, able to clearly define and visualize it. This can be said for relationships, as well.

When encountering a difficulty in my relationships, am I focusing on the problem or the solution? Every "learning opportunity" in my life gives me the option of choosing between these two. Honesty being the best policy under all circumstances, it becomes a matter of telling myself the truth about what I want in my life, more especially in my relationships. At the same time, everyone around me should know this truth, too, even if they disagree with it.

One of the most important aspects of my relationships with others is the part they are to play in my life experience. If they understand "where I am coming from," it gives them useful information in determining whether what I want is an infringement upon some boundary they have set, or whether they choose to participate in the attainment of my dreams and visions.

In the long term, interdependent relationships work best. I could be defined by my relationships, if I so choose. Dependent relationships are where one person turns their soul over to another, in a process of giving and sacrifice to the point that self-care is neglected. Independent relationships are where totally disinterested individuals just "do their thing" without consideration of anyone else (which is a non-relationship by practical definition).

If my relationships are not getting better, they're probably getting worse. Life is dynamic and nothing ever stays the same. Yet, every relationship is unique. It takes what it takes to make a relationship work. If I want it to work, I have to work it. No shortcuts. I can't read into my relationships what I'd like them to be, either. I can only work with them as they are, and strive to make them better, because it's impossible to deal with what's not real.

If I am committed to creating functional relationships, I can start doing it today, without any judgments about the past. I must be willing to work toward the solution of problems, and let go of my need to control the outcome, dealing with what is here and now, moment to moment, one day at a time. Joy can only be experienced in the present moment.

To have a functional relationship, I must be willing to risk losing it every day, by telling my truth. If I don't feel free to tell my truth, I must start asking myself why I think it's so important to stay in the relationship, and what else I am willing to lose, besides my self-esteem, in order to have a relationship. I can also ask my mate to tell her truth, and be willing to accept it at face value, with no judgment. In this way we both get to know if we each want a relationship based on what's real.

Before milking machines, cows were milked by hand (I have done this to earn a living as a youngster - it is not easy!). The individual doing the milking usually had a one-legged stool strapped to their bottom - it was light and functional, but was good only for that specific use, and is otherwise impractical because of instability. One never sees a two-legged stool, because they are useless to the point of absurdity. The word tripod comes from the Latin, meaning "three feet" or legs in this case. Mathemeticians will tell you that the triangle is the most stable of figures, and a three-legged stool is no exception.

Relationships have three aspects that make them stable, too. They are Respect, Trust, and Truth. Truth is the first thing necessary to create trust in my relationships. Respect is earned from trust, and love is earned from respect. Further,

• Without the beginning base of truth in my relationships, trust cannot occur.
• Without the development of trust, respect will never be born.
• Without a level of respect for another, a functional and loving relationship will not develop.

Intimacy occurs when I become willing to share my whole self with another in this same order.

• Fear of intimacy is fear of sharing my truth, even though my truth is better for me than someone else's.
• Intimacy will not occur without respect for my own personal sovereignty, and that of others.
• Trust is the result of fidelity and constancy.