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One of the most important lessons I can learn in this life is that of patience. What will help me to learn to wait for the blessings and the lessons of life? |
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Entrée: 4 Ways to
De-stress Your Wait Time by Pauline Wallin,
Ph.D.
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How do you feel about waiting in line, waiting on hold, and other forms of waiting? Is it stressful? Do you get impatient or angry? Does your "inner brat" demand that the wait be over? If so, you're not alone. Several years ago a Pittsburgh research firm estimated that each of us spends over 5 years of our lives waiting. Not all at once, of course, but a few annoying minutes at a time.
Waiting can certainly be irritating and exasperating. But it need not be. The stressful part is not the situation – it's how you handle it. Don't let your inner brat take control.
Here's what to do instead:
Suppose you're in a checkout line. The person in front of you is fumbling to find her checkbook. Then she asks the cashier for a pen. Doesn't it seem to take forever as you watch her write her check? The actual wait time is probably no more than two minutes.
But what if, instead, you grab a magazine off a rack and look through it until it's your turn? Often, you wish you had more time to finish reading the article.
Lesson #1: The less you focus on the wait itself, the more quickly time will seem to pass.
Suppose you have tickets to a play or concert, and you arrive a half hour early. During that half hour you peruse the program, look around the theater or chat with the person next to you. You feel relaxed.
But then showtime arrives. At five minutes past the appointed time you start looking at your watch, squirming in your seat. After 10 minutes you may become annoyed enough to complain about the wait.
In other words, you had no problem waiting 30 minutes because you didn't expect anything to happen during that time. But once you expected the show to begin, even five minutes seemed too long.
Lesson #2: Assume it's going to take twice as long as you'd like. And then distract yourself with something interesting to help pass the time – read something, listen to music or talk to someone.
Does this sound familiar? "Please hold. All of our representatives are busy. Your call is very important to us, and will be answered in the order that it is received."
That message is not very reassuring or calming. At best it lets you know that you are in the queue. You still have no idea as to how long the wait will be.
Some companies give you an estimate of the wait time. Not only does this tell you whether the wait is two minutes or 20 minutes; it also gives you a feeling of control. If you choose to wait a long time, you are less apt to be angry about it, than if the decision is out of your hands.
Lesson #3: If possible try to find out how long you'll have to wait. This won't help if you're on the phone, of course, but it will come in handy at airports, doctors' offices and restaurants.
Some people will eagerly wait in line for hours just to catch a glimpse of a celebrity or to take advantage of a special sale, such as on the day after Thanksgiving in the U.S., when stores offer rock-bottom prices on popular items.
On the other hand, these same people might grumble about waiting in line for more than ten minutes to buy stamps at the post office.
Why the difference? You can buy stamps elsewhere. You probably won't get another chance to see the Pope drive by.
Lesson #4: Think about waiting as an investment, rather than as a waste of time. The payoff is the enjoyment or relief that you'll feel once the waiting is over.
Finally, remind yourself that compared to all the problems in the world, the act of waiting is pretty trivial. Waiting is merely a temporary inconvenience, not worth getting your inner brat involved.
About the author:
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and Happiness Coach in Camp Hill, PA, and author of Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004) Visit InnerBrat.com for more information, and to subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.
Main Course: God, Grant Me
Patience... And, I Want It Now!! by Richard
Vegas
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Are you facing a difficult time in your life? Do you feel like a fish out of water? If today was a fish, would you want to throw it back in the river? If this is your situation, make no negative destructive decisions. Be Patient. Know that time can perform many miracles.
Quicker Than A New York Minute!
Yeah, I wish. But, unfortunately every time I have moved that fast it went from riches to rags. Truly, patience is one of the major ingredients that lead to consistent success. You must develop patience if you are ever going to be successful in dealing with life's problems.
Patience is not a popular subject for our, "I want it now" microwave society. Patience conjures up all kinds of thoughts like, "I might not get it"; "It might take too long"; "I might forget it", even worse. Ah, but patience is a major factor in making our dreams come true.
As I have given patience a lot of thought in my own life, here is what I have discovered. See if this pattern seems familiar to you.
Rome Wasn't well-constructed In A Day!
Well, every time I get what I want right away, I'm just a little taken back by it. I day after day seem to "expect" to wait for some period of time. It just seems to be the way the universe deals with us. When something comes right away, we forget that triumph very fast and are on to the next deal.
The tyrannical optimum way to live would to be able to control the timing of every thing that happens to us. But, we can't. On the other side of the coin, if every thing were to just fall on us like ripe apples off a tree, we would be running all over town trying to sidestep prevalent knocked out by all the falling apples.
You've heard it said before, "God's delays are not God's denials". I swear by that's true. Patience has life crafting power within it. Patience takes the impossibilities of life and turns them into realities. Patience can also make you feel like taking a long walk off a short pier sometimes.
Waiting unchangingly Lasts Too Long!
That's the part of patience I want to help give you a different perspective on. Patience was designed to help us grow; to help us develop humaneness and empathy, and make us strong. Not, to tear us down, to destroy our dreams, or make us wonder if our goals and objectives will ever be realized.
If you look at patience like this it might help: It was not meant to make life hard on you. Of course life is hard, that's why they pay you the big bucks. :>) Patience is part of our lives now God's timing is daily and hourly transcendental than ours. Now think within earshot it. If you had your way, how many times would you settle on to wait for something you really wanted or needed?
Your timing would hourly be, "I want it now"! And, if it was something that's not desirable, your timing would be to wait, and wait, and wait. So, the universe comes on the scene and says, "Wait, you're moving too fast". And we say, "No I'm not, you are moving too slowly".
The Waiting Is The Hardest Part!
And since the universe everlastingly has the final word, we find ourselves, waiting! And, being timing is so crucial to every thing in the universe, we tend to have a hard time understanding what good it is doing us, "waiting".
Here is why waiting bothers us; insomuch as we don't know exactly what's on the other end. It might turn out to be something most than sliced bread, or, I might find myself betwixt and between the devil and the deep blue sea.
The first thing we do is, think of all kind of possibilities that would help us, improve our lifestyle, go for us happiness, reduce aggravation, if only this project would give in to my commands.
As soon as all those wonderful possibilities run their course through our thinking, then all the undesirable outcomes take their turn and start playing the "what if" game with us.
"What if you don't get that pay raise"? "What if you don't get that promotion"? "Be careful, or you'll poke your eye out"; and, all kinds of junky thoughts.
Now, one careful, in your ways, is fine and good. But, understand something; those thoughts are not eventual to you to help you spring up a safe responsible person. Yes, you should. But, those thoughts have a different agenda. And, that is to inject fear into you to two-timer you out of your dream.
I promise you this; the very moment you recognize the real intent of those thoughts, you will not shirk your responsibilities and burst forth a reckless person, you will feel the inner power you've been searching for to polish off that goal, and you will do so in a very responsible manner.
As Luck Would Have It!
I personally put faith in that if patience was not part of the God's way of helping us grow, we would just let the cabbage fall where they may.
Since we would not have to wait or resist, why ail identification what happens? It's the struggle, the fight that makes this thing personal to us. Something is trying to beat us, and we take that personally. When unemployment is trying to take your possessions, your dignity, and your self-esteem, you will take it personally!
Life Never Leaves Us With No Way Out!
Patience was not intended to be a destructive force. The lack of patience has executed much damage. Without patience there is a higher and transform good that would not be possible in your life. And, that is the power of faith and hope.
Without patience you would have no hope. Everything you wanted would just fall on you. Without patience you would have no faith. All your dreams would materialize instantly. Now, don't get excited, that would really not be good for any of us. Not in this world anyway.
About the author:
Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine Wing-Tips Teaching The Success System That Never Fails, at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com. You may also hear and follow Richard's music career at: http://www.richardvegas.com.
Second
Helping: Is Patience Really A Virtue? by Vatche
Bartekian
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We've all had the unpleasant experience of being stuck in traffic, sometimes for hours, impatiently waiting for the car in front of us to speed up so that we can go home as soon as possible and enjoy a nice, mouthwatering meal that we've been craving all day long. Sound familiar?
Being stuck in traffic is the worst kind of prison for some people. You have absolutely no control over where you're going and how fast you're getting there. You start becoming agitated, sweaty, shaky, and hot (usual symptoms of high levels of stress).
The best thing you could do in a situation like this is to simply accept the inevitable: you're going to be late. The worst thing you can do is create false hopes; maybe they'll clear the accident sooner than expected, maybe rush hour will end in 10 minutes, etc... Stop right there.
The traffic still hasn't cleared, so what are you going to do?
Here is where reality should sink in; the accident is bigger than you think, and rush hour just started. You're stuck. No ifs, buts, or maybes about it. Now what do you do?
Simple. Sing. You'd be surprised how fast time flies when you pop in one of your favorite tapes, or tune into your favorite radio station and start singing along with the band. Don't be shy, even if you have passengers with you. Invite them to sing along too. And if passengers are present, and no one wants to sing, then strike up an interesting conversation.
Hey, you're not going anywhere for a while.
About the author:
Vatche Bartikian is a Stress Management Specialist and regular (every 2nd Tuesday) article contributor at AskMen.com.
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