To Bend Without Breaking

If it be Thy Pleasure, make me grow as a tender herb in the meadows of Thy Grace, that the gentle winds of Thy Will may stir me up and bend me into conformity with Thy Pleasure in such wise that my movement and my stillness may be wholly directed by Thee.

--Bahá'u'lláh

Nature Speaks

It is said that you teach what you most need to learn. One afternoon during a "Healing for the Healers" retreat I was facilitating for First Nations caregivers in Northern Canada, we took a "spirit walk," contemplating something in Nature which spoke to each of us and the virtue of which it spoke. I walked slowly down to the lake, breathing in the fresh summer air. After a few minutes, what caught my eye was a slender herb about eight inches high with a tiny tassel at the top that waved in the breeze. I hunkered down to take a closer look. To my surprise, when the wind blew harder, it moved in a full circle - all the way around - then returned to its upright position. I thought, "what flexibility!" I tugged gently and then harder and found it to be firmly rooted. It was very strong, steadfast, yet it moved so freely.

When I returned to the lodge, I partnered with an elder, and we shared our experiences during the Spirit Walk. While I was sharing, she said, "Something touched you about the reed. What was it?" "The way it could move all the way around!" In the warmth of her compassionate gaze, my eyes filled with tears as I thought of the relationship which needed healing in my life. My pain melted in the safety of her reverent silence. Then she said, "Don't worry, Linda. Just like that strong little reed, you'll find a way around it."

-Linda Kavelin Popov, Sacred Moments - Daily Meditations on the Virtues ©1996



Gracious Flexibility

I learned, when hit by loss, to ask the right question: "What next?" instead of "Why me?"
. . . Whenever I am willing to ask "What is necessary next?" I have moved ahead. Whenever I have taken no for a final answer I have stalled and gotten stuck. I have learned that the key to career resiliency is self-empowerment and choice.

--Julia Cameron

In recent weeks, sadly, a lot of my co-workers have been laid off. Just today, I learned that a 14-year employee was let go. He is 60, now on the street looking for a job because he is "too young to retire" (his words). I have passed through week after week of layoffs, and each day that passes finds me more and more grateful that I have made it another day. I am currently away from home for 3 months. It is difficult to be away from home for this long. But, it is work and I am happy to be engaged in it. Difficult economic times require me to bend. If faced with a choice between a layoff and working at another of my company's offices, my bags are packed. And so, today finds me hundreds of miles away from home. If I didn't accept this adversity as an opportunity, would it change the circumstances? An old Spanish proverb: Dance to the tune that is played. Asking the world to bend to my will often creates more, and more serious, conflicts.

There is a time to bend, and a time to be still. Determining the right circumstances under which to bend without breaking is the key. Knights of old were sworn to protect innocents, carrying a double-edged sword which was symbolic of Truth and Justice. They would rather sacrifice their life than to forfeit their integrity. Their armour was as rigid as their sense of right and wrong, flexible where need be and impenetrable where most vital; their justice was tempered with mercy, their honor unquestioned.

If I believed in the sin-and-redemption approach, I would believe that I have to pay for the ups with a lot of downs, as if happiness is a somehow a sin in need of punishment. I disagree with this line of thinking, even though it was a big part of the Episcopal upbringing of my youth. I don't think that suffering and trouble are the only paths to growth. Unless one sits very still and does absolutely nothing, everyone's life is a Soap Opera. Ups and downs matter, but in the Grand Cosmic Scheme of Things, they are not as serious: they come and they go. Having difficulties should not teach me that I am strong. I should know that already, and I do. The natural events of life are to be used as lessons for my growth, events both good and bad. The Bible speaks of the lilies of the field, and how they care not which way the wind blows them, or whether it is sunny or raining. They know that all things work for their good, and accept what comes to them by returning beauty and growth to the Earth. They are self-empowered by their acceptance of things as they are, and are steadfast and well-rooted in their resilience for what is "next."

I can't just wait until tragedy causes me to drop the veil of my separateness from others. If I believed in the illusion that I am separate from others and the Universe, I delude myself into a personal prison, restricting me to my personal desires and subsequent disappointments in the natural course of life, and to an affection for those few persons nearest to me. It is my task to overcome the walls that this delusion builds around me, and to embrace life as it comes, all living creatures and the whole of nature in all its beauty. Not that I will achieve this completely, but to strive for this goal liberates me and provides a foundation for inner security. Tiptoeing through life, hoping to arrive safely at death doesn't take into account my responsibility to take what God has given me and cause it to grow. Living life fully requires some resilience, requires that I keep my spiritual and physical eyes and ears open, to see and hear with clarity what the Universe has "next" for me.

Pericles advised "a happy and gracious flexibility." He counseled lucidity of thought, clearness and propriety of language, freedom from prejudice and freedom from stillness, openness of mind, and an amiability of manners. What gifts have I received from flexibility? Going with the flow allows me to find creative ways to resolve problems. Resilience gives me the opportunity to learn from my losses, and to be gracious with others. It is not the ordinary virtue of an extraordinary life, but rather the exemplification of the more extraordinary virtues of an ordinary life, done in the hard and beaten path of daily care and toil. It is full of uncelebrated sacrifices in the long strife of the spirit, borne on the inmost depths of the heart.

Flexibility keeps my spirit supple.

Michael

email: Michael@N-Spire.com

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