Dealing with Your Loss of Employment

If you've ever been Surplused, RIF'ed, Laid Off, or informed that your position was being Eliminated or your cost center Downsized, you can probably still recall the feeling of loss and grief as you sat across from your manager and heard the news. How did you handle this unexpected detour on the road of life, a road on which traveling had been smooth, until now, with very few sections ever 'under repair', and bumps over which you rolled with hardly a jolt?

In the hierarchy of the 20 top stressors in life, losing one's job is #8. It's accompanied in the Top Ten by death (of a loved one), divorce and going to jail! Career and income loss can have serious consequences on lifestyle and health. Before you are whole enough to begin job-searching (assuming you valued your position and didn't run from your building on the last day yelling "I'm Free! I'm Free! Thank Heaven I'm Free at Last!"), you need to deal with any negative emotions which this surprise action triggered.

Are you angry? Hostile? I don't understand why they chose ME! I had good performance ratings, got along with everyone. OK, maybe I was tardy a few times, but that's no reason to eliminate MY position! There are 10 other employees in the department! Are you inviting everyone to your "Pity Party"? Can you believe I was the only one caught in the RIF in that area? My boss knows we just had a baby and bought a new house. You would think he would have taken that into consideration! I always knew he had it in for me! Have you made up your mind to feel discriminated against, even though the reasons you were selected were truthful and logical? I know why I was selected for layoff, instead of one of the cutie-pies - it's because I'm 50 years old and everyone else is in their 20's and 30's. Or - It's because I broke my hip 2 years ago and have to keep going to the doctor for physical therapy. Technically I'm disabled...that's why I was picked!

It's difficult, sometimes impossible, to catch a glimpse of the sun's rays behind all of the storm clouds, but we all know the sun is there...and eventually it will shine through (or so Mary Poppins promised). While awaiting that day, there are many self-help activities that will prepare you for new employment - and new challenges. Here are a few:

After a week if you are still not sleeping, have lost interest in eating, pursuing any hobbies or engaging in activities which you had previously enjoyed, it's time to seek professional advice. A psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist or licensed counselors are all qualified to discuss your situation and make recommendations. While family and friends are less expensive listeners, keep in mind that their advice will probably not be impartial. They have only a telescopic view of your situation as told, and interpreted, by you. Contact the local university or check the Yellow Pages for career assessment professionals if you're unsure as to whether you want to continue in your former field. They may present options that you had no idea existed. Update your resume using the information from the many websites that offer resume templates, instructions and suggestions, or check out books from the library. Enhance your existing computer skills by signing up for training in one or more of the programs that you may need in a new job. Many community colleges offer computer courses free of charge or for a minimal fee. Check with JTPA (Job Training Partnership Act). They also present computer courses, as well as training in job and interview skills. Use this hiatus to enjoy your free time and indulge in entertainment, an inexpensive vacation, or a neglected hobby that has been taking a backseat to 'work' and 'life', perhaps for years. Investigate various stress reduction and relaxation techniques such as yoga, martial arts, aerobics or meditation. Such practices can make you feel better, look healthier and be more enthusiastic and confident about your ability to glide over any hurdles in your path to new employment, or even an entirely different career. Contact the career center at the local college or university to discuss taking an aptitude test that may indicate your qualifications for a field you have never considered. As much as possible, work on YOU. Get yourself as mentally and physically healthy as possible before starting the job search phase. Make sure your 'I'm very happy to meet you.' clothing is cleaned, pressed and hanging in the closet awaiting action. The adage 'Clothes make the (man) (woman)' is true to a certain point, but the best tailored, most expensive clothing cannot make the hoped-for impression on a potential new employer if the applicant is still feeling sorry for himself, mentally muddled, and concentrating on his new, albeit self-destructive, mantra "Why ME?"

One of the few constants in life is c-h-a-n-g-e and the survivors and achievers are those who deal with the waves that swamp them, by doing what is necessary to reach the surface, and the life restoring light and air. As our company soft drink deliveryman used to say...

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE...EXCEPT FROM A VENDING MACHINE.

Contributed by Sonya Rolls

A reprieve from intense striving?

With the style of a skillful archer, I must have drawn my arrow and hit my target. After much effort and struggle, perseverance has taken me toward an unconsciously desired outcome, it seems. Having zeroed in upon the bull's eye, I have explored the territory and brought myself to it's center. I didn't know this is what I was aiming for, but my spirit must have known all along.

This is a time that my spirit has needed, to pause for a while. I am given this period of time to use my creativity to turn a crisis, a challenge, into an opportunity. It is time to refresh myself, to take a break from the focus of working at a job, so that I may soon return to work refreshed and renewed. My 'all or nothing' approach needed a break, because even an artist must learn to render high quality work without being consumed by the process.

It is a time to gather all the confidence I can muster, as if I already know my Plan is working and my goals are secured. It is a time to trust that Spirit has nothing but success in store for me, and I must prepare to make my next moves with confidence and authority, simply because my Plan is unfolding perfectly. Yet.... the world offers no guarantees, only opportunities for growth.

The real lesson of this time is this: what is happening is not the end of the world! The only real disaster would be to believe the present setback will cast a pall over my entire future. Right now, I need to detach myself somewhat from my emotions about where I find myself at this moment. It is a time to realize that life calls for a personal investment and occasional sacrifice in order to derive the full benefit from being alive. It is a time to practice gratitude.

I am given this time to focus upon people and relationships. Not just networking for the purpose of securing employment, but to make a personal assessment of how I deal with people in general, and how I deal with my close relationships in particular. I need to use this time wisely and listen to what people close to me are saying, and to ask their advice on where I need improvement, both in my personal and professional life. I must listen carefully to discover which parts of my approach have substance and which are undeveloped.

Through this process, insights I would never have thought of may emerge, and careful consideration of what I hear from those who know me and care about me will let me know how closely my personal vision matches community standards of balance and harmony.

And when I have gathered my strength and my thoughts, when I have cranked up my confidence a notch or two, when my spirit has been refreshed... the door will open, and I will step confidently through.

Peace and Light, Michael