Burning Old Definitions
Under all that we think, lives all we believe, like the ultimate veil of our spirits.
- Antonio Machado
One power
we gain on our journey to the heart is the ability to redefine what we believe. We learn to see
things in a new way.
We usually have a definition
for most areas of our lives, particularly important areas such as work, love, money, and ourselves,
but we're not always conscious of it. The experiences we go through can help our definitions surface,
help us see more clearly how we define these areas. That's called growth. This growth, this process of
redefining, will happen naturally on our path. But we can also consciously, actively work on our
definitions.
Ask yourself if you're defining something or
someone right now in a way that you'd like to change. Perhaps a work relationship, a love relationship, a project,
or an issue is causing you distress. You may find you have the power to redefine this area in a way that minimizes
or reduces your pain.
A healing professional and friend once taught
me a technique that can be used on any subject you're trying to define. On a sheet of paper write down everything
you currently believe, including and especially everything negative, about the subject or issue. Include all the
"I Can'ts" and the "Why Nots." That's your current definition.
On a clean sheet of paper write down how you
want to redefine this area and your involvement in it. Write down everything you want it to be, what you wish for it,
what you think the highest truth possible about this subject could be.
Burn the paper with the old definition. Let the
smoke clear away from your eyes. Save your new definition. Then watch how the new definition comes to life and takes shape.
You don't have to let past definitions of life, love,
God, and yourself limit you anymore. You are free to redefine and help create the life you choose; you're free to see life
in a new way.
- Melody Beatte, Journey to the Heart - Daily meditations on the Path to freeing your soul.
Melody Beattie is the New York Times bestselling author of The Language of Letting Go, Codependent No More, Beyond Cedependency, The Lessons of Love and several other books.
- André Gide
In the mid 70's I had
the opportunity to listen to a returned Prisoner of War, one Capt. Gerald Coffee, speak of his experiences in
Hoa Lo prison. There, he and another flyer who was shot down at the same time were exposed to the most brutal of tortures by their
enemies, trying to force information from them. While the other prisoner saw no way out of his situation other than suicide,
Captain Coffee somehow managed to use the experience to strengthen his beliefs, and to survive under the most horrible of conditions.
How is this possible?
He was not limited by his beliefs.
While one individual says to himself,
"I am beaten, I am tired, I am in pain," another looks at the power of his "I AM" affirmations just a bit
differently: "I am strong, I am loved by my Lord, I am more powerful in my spirit than my difficulties" and so on. Somehow,
Gerald Coffee found the strength to tend the fire of gratitude in his life, to feed the flames of gratitude for all parts of the
experience - good and bad - those flames that warm the soul.
One of the first things that happened in the situation Gerald Coffee described was that he raised his standards, expecting strength of will and spirit from himself. Next, he changed his limiting beliefs, knowing in his heart that, unless he was murdered outright, it might be possible to survive the torture being handed out by his captors, and if he were to be eventually released from his prison, he wanted to be healthy of mind and body, and strong of spirit as much as possible. The final step in accomplishing his survival was to simply find a way to do what needed to be done. Other prisoners had walked this path before him - what could he learn and apply?
I may not be called upon to endure what Gerald Coffee has suffered and overcome, but I can adopt the value of his experience in my life without paying the terrifying cost. One of the most powerful ways to make changes in my life is to find role models and to emulate them. This brave and empowered individual is one of the role models I have studied.
Something I can do, right this moment, to promote a change in my situation, to begin to ease my difficulties, is to raise my standards - and then to act in accordance with these higher standards. What is the outcome toward which I am working? What am I doing to see that happen? What blocks are in my way, and how can I use them, avoid or remove them? Is this the best course for me, or am I open to all possibilities? I AM - what? I AM strong, I AM talented, I AM skilled, I AM... employable! I AM grateful for this opportunity for growth and change. These I AM's have power, yes, indeed.
Changing my beliefs, especially those that limit me in some way, is not as easy as "I AM" affirmations, but is even more powerful in effect. Especially if they are "empowered" beliefs. Beliefs are like unquestioned commands which shape my actions, focus my thoughts and filter my feelings. Changing and empowering my beliefs is central to creating lasting, powerful and positive changes in my life.
And where there is a will, there is a way. Many have walked this path before. Whatever it is that I want to accomplish in my life, someone has done it in theirs. All I need to do is to find the best role model, and look at what they've done, and do something similar in my life. Success has a pattern, and the best way to do something is, quite simply, the best way to do it. It is the search for, and the finding of that best way to do something that is the means of real, measurable progress in my life.
Redefining my beliefs, burning the old definitions and empowering the new ones. This is the process needed to create the life I choose to live.
Michael
email: Michael@N-Spire.com
