I Love you. You’re Perfect. Now Change!

The galleries are full of critics. They play no ball, they fight no fights. They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. Down in the arena are the doers. They make mistakes because they try many things. The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He is the one who never tries anything. His is the brake on the wheel of progress. And yet it cannot be truly said he makes no mistakes, because his biggest mistake is the very fact that he tries nothing, does nothing, except criticize those who do things.

·         Gen. David M. Shoup

If you find it difficult relating to other people, perhaps it has something to do with differences in the way you and they consume Oreo cookies. According to performance improvement specialist, Dr. Scott Sink, some psychologists believe the approach an individual uses when eating an Oreo provides great insight to his or her personality.  Exactly how many psychologists believe this remains a bit of a mystery!

Believe me, I’ve heard of loonier personality tests than this one.  So, if you believe an Oreo cookie can shed some light into the hidden recesses of your personality, go ahead and take the Oreo Test.  For that matter, let your friends and lovers take it too.  It’s about time the Oreo cookie receives the respect it deserves for its humble contribution to the betterment of human relations.

To begin the Oreo Test, choose which of the following best describes your favorite method of eating an Oreo:

1.        The whole thing all at once

2.       One bite at a time

3.       Slow, methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite

4.       Little feverish nibbles

5.       Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee, etc.)

6.       Twisted apart, the creamy inside first, then the cookie

7.       Twisted apart, the creamy inside first, toss the cookie

8.       The cookie but not the inside

9.       Lick them but don’t eat the cookie

10.    I have no favorite way because I don't like Oreos.

Your Personality :

1.              The Whole Thing - This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness.  You are totally impulsive and irresponsible.  No one should trust you with their children!

2.             One Bite At A Time - You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat an Oreo the same way.  Just like them, you lack imagination, but that’s okay.  You are normal so there’s no need to worry.

3.             Slow And Methodical - You follow the rules.  You’re very tidy and orderly. You’re very meticulous in every detail with everything you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others.  Stay out of the fast lane if you’re only going to travel the speed limit.

4.             Feverish Nibbles - Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly.  You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them.  Mental breakdowns run in your family.  Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5.             Dunked In Liquid - Every one likes you because you are always upbeat.  You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones.  You are in total denial about the mess you have made of your life.

6.             Twisted Apart, Inside First - You have a highly curious nature.  You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work.  As you are not always able to put things back together, you destroy all the evidence of your activities.  You deny your involvement when things go wrong.

7.             Twisted Apart, Inside First, Toss Cookie - You are good at business and take risks that pay off.  You take what you want and throw the rest away.  You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others.  But you don’t care as long as you got yours.

8.             Eat The Cookie, Not The Inside - You enjoy pain.

9.             Lick But Never Eat The Cookie - Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help immediately.

10.          Don’t Like Oreos - You probably come from a rich family, like to wear nice things and go to upscale restaurants.  You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own and wear.  Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. There’s just no pleasing you.

Sometimes I just want to keep it light, and including this article from Dr. Scott seemed like a good idea when I first saw it. Should you disagree with these findings, send your opinions to Dr. Scott Sink, 125 Winward Dr., Moneta, VA 24121-2321 or e-mail him at dssink@vt.edu.  I’m sure he would appreciate your input. If you would rather not think of the implications of how you eat your cookies, that’s all good, too. Here’s a place to find over 100 recipes using Oreo cookies: Oreo Cookies Recipes - Perhaps a game is more to your liking, especially if it involves Oreos! Try this one: The Oreo Adventure Game. Me? I just like sittin’ around, eating them. My sisters like them, too. I’m a type #2/5/6 dunk-‘em-and-one-bite-at-a time person, but I always unscrew them first. Call me a purist – no double-stuff, no flavors, just the original Oreo.


Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering.
There's a hole in everything,
That's how the light comes thru.

·         Leonard Cohen

The title of a popular stage play is “I love you. You’re perfect. Now change.” How silly this sounds, but I have been guilty of doing this, as well as having it done to me. Silly, yet tragic. Does that make it a tragicomedy?

One of the best things about family is that they have to accept you as you are. Not that they always do, but growing up with family is the place and time where one is supposed to learn to be accepting of others, by first practicing on that intolerable sibling or fussy parent. In my family, I was the intolerable sibling, being the youngest. Family interactions are the first and longest relationships we have in life. They are supposed to be loving, functional relationships under ideal circumstances. Most family situations are less than ideal.

One of the most important things I need to realize about relationships is that I don’t really have anything to learn about relationships. What I need to do is to demonstrate what I already know, to practice all the good things about relationships I have already learned. The learning comes unbidden from experience in relationships, not apprehension of knowledge from a book or a teacher.

Relationships are constantly challenging, requiring me to be creative, expressive of the higher aspects of myself. In order to keep my relationships growing, I must be continually growing, each day creating a continually improving version of myself. If I had no relationships, what would be the purpose of my growth and improvement? Who must a recluse satisfy, aside from himself? The fact is that relationships are absolutely necessary for growth, and without relationships, there would likely be no personal growth.

Without interaction in relationships, there would be nothing with which to compare my behavior, my choices, my words and actions, and their effects and consequences. In a rather strange way, it is through relationships that I exist, that I am defined, that I am in some ways identifiable. I live in a world of relativity, rather than a world of absolutes; my self-concept is based upon those relations because comparison to absolutes doesn’t really work. Knowing and understanding this prompts me to bless all my relationships, because they help me to construct Who I Really Am.

No relationship in my life has been a failure, in my thinking. Some have not produced what I had hoped, and some were entered into for the ‘unhealthy’ reasons. It was not wise of me, when I was younger, to enter into relationships with an eye to what I could get out of them, instead of what I could put into them. I had no right to expect a relationship to complete who I was. Relationships are meant to celebrate the stage of completeness at which I find myself, today, with another who finds themselves in a similar condition, along their path and at their own particular stage of completeness.

The relationships in my life must necessarily be sacred because they can provide me the opportunity to create and exercise the highest concept of my Self. Relationships have disintegrated in my lifetime when my partner or I have sought to produce the highest concept of the Other, rather than presenting the higher aspects of Self. That focus upon the other, what they are doing or not doing, what needed to be changed or improved in them, what they wanted, thought or expected, how to please them or how to not disappoint them – that is where the difficult times in those relationship began.

It doesn’t matter what the Other is thinking or doing; what matters is what I am doing or being in relation to what they’re doing or being. Hence, the term “relationship.” Duh.

How weird is it that healthy relationships are between two Self-centered people? This may seem radical at first blush, but think about it: If you cannot love your Self, you cannot love another. Yet some people may feel that they are unlovable, and therefore they hate themselves, they don’t believe that you could love them, they think you may be trying to manipulate them or that you want something from them. So, if you do love them, you may be asked to prove it by being asked to alter your behavior; then they worry about keeping your love, so they start altering their behavior – and that is how two people end up losing themselves in a relationship.

One of the most important concepts to keep in mind in my relationships is that each of us in a relationship is a sacred soul, on a sacred journey. That, after all, is the true purpose of all my relationships. And knowing myself to be holy is necessary to the acknowledgment of the holiness of others. Therefore, my first, strongest and healthiest relationship must be with my Self.


email: Michael@N-Spire.com

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