When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.--Thich Nhat Hahn
Sometimes people do things that have nothing to do with what I have done! What if someone you loved and respected suddenly stopped speaking to you? With no reason or explanation, they simply tuned out and turned you off. What would you do? Most of us would probably search for a reason. We would search our most recent words, trying to find the reason why someone, particularly this someone, would turn their back. When the search turned up nothing, we would make the next most obvious leap. We would ask ourselves, "What did I do wrong?" It is at the precise moment that we ask ourselves that question that we are going to get ourselves into trouble.
People have a right to do what they want to do, when they want to do it, in any manner they choose to do it. You don't have to like it, and sometimes it is very hurtful. It does not mean, however, that you did anything wrong. People see the same things in different ways. Certain people may process information in a different way than you do. They may feel different than you do about certain things. And even when you think you know a person, they may surprise you!
Each time you make yourself wrong for the way someone treats you, you diminish your sense of self. At times, you can be so willing to be wrong about what has happened that you make yourself wrong for simply being who you are. At some point in life, you may simply be faced with the painful reality that, for whatever reason, someone has chosen to move you out of their life. Accept that as their choice. While you may feel hurt and bewildered, it does not mean you have done anything wrong.
Today I am devoted to moving myself out of the position that I must be wrong because of the way others may treat me!
-Iyanla Vanzant, Until Today! - Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind ©2000
PerspectiveSometimes the situation is only a problem because it is looked at in a certain way. Looked at in another way, the right course of action may be so obvious that the problem no longer exists.--Edward de Bono
Our perspective determines our interpretation of an experience. What amuses one person may anger a second and edify a third. Perspective is, for the most part, based on one's outlook on life in general. Fortunately, we are not just the end result of our experiences, but rather, we have a perspective based upon what we have learned from experiences, and what we are taught by our spiritual, educational, social and economic environments. But in addition to that, we also have some choices in what our perspective is. Differing perspectives can cause simple disagreements, major dysfunction, and in extreme cases violence and war.
Our interpretation is everything to us, even if what we interpret seems obvious and visible to all. Whatever we see is what is there, right? The material world does not, however, tell the whole story. It may be safe to say that problems are not as we see them, because no problem is definite or absolute in scope. The problem itself may be very different from how we perceive it, which is based solely upon our perspective. It may be possible to see problems from different perspectives if we will be willing to stretch our minds, seeking within and asking Spirit for new understanding.
What we see is the absolute reflection of what our hearts are feeling. If it is love, we will see a situation that is hopeful, fulfilling, a classroom lesson that will expand our experience and give us even more new opportunities. If it is fear, our vision will be profoundly clouded and our response will be agitated, angry, attacking, or perhaps defensive, closed, limited and ruled by our ego.
A small shift in perspective could therefore have a huge effect upon the resulting experience. Gaining a different perspective, a shift in our view of things is not something that we can always do, consistently. I wish that my perspective could be loving all of the time. With practice and continuing effort, it may get to that point. Nevertheless, I can see however I choose today. How I act will follow accordingly.
Sit quietly when you are faced with a problem. Still yourself for just a moment, go within and ask for a different perspective, and then quietly wait while one takes shape. Your feeling, your perspective about life and the problems you encounter will change when your approach does.
Seeking miracles is a guaranteed way to find them.
Peace and Light, Michael
email: Michael@N-Spire.com - or, send your to me right now!
View My Guestbook Sign My Guestbook